News

By Andrea MacKenzie
Third Grade Teacher

As  teachers, the power of our words, actions and timeliness of our responses to children’s behavior can change everything. On any given day, we navigate a range of classroom behaviors, including challenges with listening and attention, teasing, tattling, defiance, frustration and meltdowns — among many others! 

Each child in our care has unique needs, requiring thoughtful and individualized approaches. As educators, we dedicate time to building strong relationships with our students throughout the year, allowing us to better understand them and provide effective support when challenges arise.

Unfortunately, there isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach to addressing misbehavior. It takes trusted adults who are consistent in their responses, willing to try new approaches when the first one doesn’t work and — most importantly — lots and lots of patience. Being proactive rather than reactive is essential. 

Here are just a few of the ways we approach these behaviors at school, along with some tips for navigating them at home. What are some of the procedures, systems or spaces you have in place to support your child?

Listening and Attention Challenges
One of the most effective ways to address listening and attention challenges is by setting clear expectations. Talk with your child about what good listening looks and sounds like. As adults, we can model “whole body listening” by demonstrating these key behaviors:

• My brain is switched on and I am focused on the speaker.
• My mouth is quiet.
• My ears are listening.
• My hands and body are quiet. (They can be moving if that helps me focus!)
• My eyes are on the speaker. 
• My heart is caring about what the person is saying.
• My body is facing the speaker.

As an adult, you can reinforce these behaviors by modeling them when your child is telling you about their day, pointing out each one as you do it. There are also many different visual aids available for “whole body listening” that you can display at home. 

Frustrations and Meltdowns
Children experience frustration and meltdowns for many reasons, including difficulty handling disappointment, low self-confidence, high expectations, a desire for adult attention, or unmet needs. When a child is struggling, it’s essential for adults to remain as calm as possible, use a kind tone, avoid minimizing their feelings and calmly guide them toward a solution. (If a consequence is necessary, wait until the child has calmed down before addressing it.) 

Here are some strategies to help when your child is experiencing big feelings:

• Create a reset space. Set up a designated “calm corner” in your home where your child can go to reset on their own. This space should be small and comfortable, with pillows, stuffed animals, fidgets, and books about emotions. (See photo below for an example.)
• Use a grounding technique. Help your child engage their five senses by asking them to name five things they can see, four they can touch, three they can hear, two they can smell, and one they can taste.
• Tell a story. Shifting focus can be a powerful tool. Whether it’s a true or make-believe story, storytelling helps children relax. As they listen, you’ll often see their minds and bodies calm. Eventually, invite them to help create the story.

Defiance
Defiant behavior often stems from an unmet need. Children may act out due to tiredness, hunger, anxiety, worry, a desire for control or a need for attention. When addressing defiance, the goal is to help create opportunities for choices. 
Encourage decision-making. How many opportunities does your child have to make their own choices each day? Giving children choices empowers them and helps them feel heard.

• Discuss household rules. Identify which rules consistently lead to pushback and have a conversation with your child about them. Understanding their perspective may help you adjust expectations while maintaining structure.
• Reinforce positive behaviors. When your child follows expectations, acknowledge and praise their behavior to encourage repetition.

By being proactive, patient and intentional in our approach, we can better support children as they navigate challenges — both at school and at home.